Week 1 with Master Key Experience

I have started a course at MKE, Master Key Experience. I am now posting my first blog ever writing about thoughts and experiences through this course.
First i will present myself briefly. I am Per-Olof Söderblom, 55 years, never married, no kids and 3 years ago I became sick and burned out related to a stressful situation in my job at that time as a teamleader in maintenance and care of parks and garden.
I’m not fully recovered from it and a contributory cause is that I have been hesitating around what I really want to do.
This course is to find out what i really want to do and move towards it. It will last 26 weeks and it’s a requirement and mandatory to post a blog every week at Facebook and Twitter. It is also required to write in English. It’s also a challenge because it’s not my first language.
Who would have thought that i would do this. Not me, that’s for sure.
Why am I doing this ? Except the requirement, I have felt very stuck in my situation for a long time. I have not been able to have creative thoughts around my future and my will and desire. I am tired of it from the bottom of my heart. I want to change and move forward.
This first week have been challenging for sure. I have written a draft DMP – Definite Major Purpose. There are daily studying and routine requirements in the course to follow. I’m exhausted.
I have just started to work as a caregiver in a psychiatric ward. Is this what I really want to do ? Well, not really. It’s a job and I feel good to have a job compared to be unemployed.
At the same time I’m doing this course, I feel excited and emotional about it. I feel like I am cracking my shell and stirring around in my pot. In this motion I have already experienced many emotions. Some is good to keep, emotional seeds to put in nutricious soil. Some is not worth to keep. Let go, Let’s go, Let’s grow.
There are connections that is located deep within. I will not do deep diving with details here and now. I’m sure it will come later on. Some feelings have been buried, hidden and denied for a long time. It’s natural that I become emotional when they move up to surface. Are there any fears here ?  Yes, there are !
This course is done by hands on support by guides. It’s a PIF – Pay-It-Forward scholarship paid by last years students. I’m so grateful and touched by this helping hand from them.
Another big help is the forum where we can post comments with the other members and students. It’s 400 this year. I am not alone, we are here together !

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