To subdue one habit with another. Change habits. Make new patterns. This week have been challenging. I am increasing the effort to overcome my resistance. I am moving myself forward. I have increased my activities. I have changed my thoughts. A little. It is a step in the right direction. This means also that I have been able to change my emotional mode consciously. I feel good about that.
In this weeks webinar we could see (400 of us doing this Master Key Experience and we all post blogs) how our thoughts and feelings create peptides in our brain. To make it more simple I just call it a chemical reaction. These peptides need to be fed with the same signals and chemicals that created them.
If I have a pattern, let us say that I feel fear, anger, sadness, nervous or any emotional state, every day. I have done this for the last 30 years. Then I need this flush of emotions to calm down. Even if it is pain in my body. If I am used to have it, my subconscious mind will create new pain for me. Because I believe it belongs to me. If I have had pain in my body for as long as I can remember then it have become a part of my identity. Like a living entity. So if the pain level is getting lower my subconscious will create new pain for me so that I can calm down. I feel secure with it. Now the situation is normal I tell myself. Pain is there. Everything is normal. I am familiar with it.
Now I talked about pain as an example. I could replace it with fear or any other feeling that in my opinion has a depressing effect on the body. My identity is created of this recognition and memory. This could be feelings, actions and patterns creating our life.
I experience that when I challenge it, it feels threatened and tries even stronger to manifest itself. Is it necessary to replace one pain with another ? Whats the point with this ? There is no point with it. No one at all. The point is to replace the fear, pain, anger, sorrow and so on with purpose, satisfaction, passion, joy, happiness, love and beauty. That must be the recognition. To create and build new bioneuorological pathways.
I have lived my life reactive based on fear. A fearbased reactive life. I take it all in here and now. I inhale it and suck it down into the fat of my bone marrow. It has been there all my life so it is necessary to go there. I respect it. It is powerful. There is a reason for it being there. Need to respect that. I accept and understand. Everything has an end.
There is a big important difference now, the new Me rejects this ! ! ! My new Me embrace my old blueprint, takes a firm grip, use all my powers and strength and throw it out. Get out ! ! !
Time to celebrate 🙂
The old patterns and memories left some energy in my body even I threw them out. They are not stupid. I need to repeat this over and over again. I know.
My first steps are careful. Little unsecure. Other memories comes up to surface. I adapt quickly. In this memory I am not connected to fear. The older memories helps me to walk with confidence. I remember now.
I went down to Subby, my horse. We went out for a walk. This week we have been walking every day. I feel better and Subby too. A little more confident. Our breathing capacity is increasing. We want to walk daily now. Our connection is getting stronger. There are moments when we look at each other and feel connected. We are not yet ready to ride. We made a try a few weeks ago and I almost fell off.
We both need to be in better condition before I sit up and ride Subby. This walks is good exercise for us. Our bodys and abilitys are getting stronger. Sometimes I get a bit withdrawn, introvert and lose the presence.
When I look up I find that Subby have left the path and walked into the forest where the terrain makes the walk difficult. It also happens that I find us in a marsh where we get lost from our pathway. It takes time and effort to find our way back to the path in that moments. It is a struggle when it happens. We exercise this now.
We need to keep ourselves more effortless on the path before it is time for a ride. It happens more often now that we are looking at the horizon at the same time.
Today we kept us on the path. I feel satisfied about that. Subby like it too. It feels important because we relax, our steps are easier, we move smoother. My thoughts get clearer. Subby nods to me, he is pleased with it. Now we are back home again. It was a good day. Time to rest and we are just waiting for our walk tomorrow.