To observe without opinions
In this week we are exercising to be the observer without having any opinion. It is challenging for me, my old way of thinking is usually active in my daily life. I am getting aware of how I often react instinctively at things happening. It is like I am in a certain field of feelings and I respond in a certain way.
It could be my own thoughts, it is where I usually go, what I usually do. What kind of thoughts, feelings and behaviour I mostly have. Like I go to a certain place with a certain feeling. I do this repeatedly over and over again. Some things I do every day and other things occur every week. It is a pattern.
I am not really open and present right here right now. It is how I react upon my inner thoughts and at people and ongoing things in the surroundings. It is like a connection where old patterns makes me respond as I always do. I feel that my autopilot have been dominatinating my life for a very long time. Now I am getting more conscious about my normal, most common posture.
The exercise helps me to be attentive to what I think and what I feel. This response comes from my thoughts and the surroundings. If I am in the presence I can choose how I respond to it. It is like to turn off the autopilot and take charge in drivers seat.
I went down to my horse, Subby. We had been doing our daily walks for a few weeks now and we were in a clearly better condition than when we started. Our connection followed the same track. It was better but there were still a lot of improvement that needed to be done.
We started to walk when Subby stopped after a short time. I looked at him and he said; Come on, jump up.
I did not answer him clearly, I just thought . . . really ? Is it the right time for this now ? I found myself on his back and felt some uncertainty.
Subby started to walk and suddenly we were in a water pipe. What was this ? Subby moved forward and there were a lot of things hanging from the ceiling and the sides. They were muddy. They looked like the plants hanging on the trees in a swamp.
One touched my shoulder and dissolved. This place clearly needed a thorough cleaning. It was a net of pipes. Like the branches of a tree.
Subby moved forward and followed one pipe going to the right. We passed pipes going in all directions and angles. As soon as I came in contact with the hanging mud it dissolved. Subby stopped and we looked into a pipe that was completely clogged. It was a hard surface on it. Here it was not possible to pass through. We continued further into the net and I got the feeling we were getting closer to the center.
Subby increased his speed and jumped over a high treshold. Now this was something completely different. The pipes in the net were strong and clean. They looked brand new and had a shimmering light at the surface. The energyflow was vibrant. We were close to the source. This felt good, the same net but another unit. We felt alive here, our energy was high and now we looked and smiled to each other for the first time in a long time.
We started to walk back and I was almost in a state of schock. I remembered now. I felt the energy on the way out. There it was. As a child I used to play here with some playmates. When we first got in I did not recognize the place because It was in such bad condition. Now I knew where I would live in the future. Closer to the source.